Co-President – Dr. Bill Tsang
A Stage Before a Breakthrough: Helping Neurodivergent Youth Be Seen, Accepted, and Appreciated
Before the Global Stage, There Was a Home That Accepted Her
In August 2018, a 15-year-old Greta Thunberg sat alone outside the Swedish Parliament holding a sign that read “School Strike for Climate.” At first, few people joined her. Over time, however, her solitary protest grew into a global youth climate movement.
Many people remember the image of Greta standing outside parliament, but fewer know about the struggles that came before. She experienced anxiety, periods of silence, difficulties with eating, and bullying at school. Although her parents did not necessarily agree with her decision to express her views through school strikes, they chose first to accept and support her rather than treat her as a problem to be fixed. That acceptance gave her space to discover a cause she deeply cared about.
Acceptance does not mean agreement or indulgence. Greta’s journey to the world stage was not built on courage alone. It was also possible because someone listened, stayed alongside her, and created space for her voice to be heard. Her story reminds us of a simple truth: people are more able to step forward when they first know they are safely supported.
In Hong Kong, discussions about Special Educational Needs (SEN), autism, or ADHD are often framed through a medical or deficit-based lens. Differences are seen as problems to be corrected, trained away, or brought closer to what society considers “normal.” Yet in community work, we often see something different. The issue is not that young people are unwilling to participate or lack ability. More often, they have never been given meaningful opportunities to participate in ways that work for them.
People do not need to become “better” before they deserve opportunities. More often, opportunities come first, and growth, engagement, and confidence follow. Acceptance and appreciation must therefore be expressed through real opportunities and real stages. Without opportunities, there can be no encounters. Without encounters, many journeys never begin.
Research in education, psychology, and neuroscience consistently suggests that people are more willing to learn, engage, and take risks when they feel safe. Safety is not merely the absence of danger. It also includes questions such as:
- Will I be laughed at if I say the wrong thing?
- Will people see me as a burden because I am different?
- If I become overwhelmed, can I step away and return later?
When individuals spend long periods in environments filled with pressure, uncertainty, and constant evaluation, they naturally shift into self-protection mode. In such circumstances, it becomes much harder to focus on social interaction, creativity, learning, or self-expression. As a result, we may see young people who cannot sit still, remain silent, suddenly become emotionally overwhelmed, or leave an activity altogether.
Imagine a crowded activity room filled with noise, bright lights, and constant movement. A secondary school student suddenly rushes out of the room. If a facilitator interprets this as rude or disruptive behavior, they may miss what is really happening. The student may simply be struggling with overwhelming sensory input. A different response, such as, “Would you like to sit in the corridor and take a short break?” could lead to a very different outcome.
The concept of Neurodiversity recognizes that human brains naturally develop and function in different ways. Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other neurodevelopmental differences are part of normal human variation. Neurodivergent young people may experience the world differently in areas such as sensory processing, attention, emotional regulation, or social communication. Their responses are not necessarily signs of laziness, poor attitude, or non-compliance. Often, they simply represent a different way of understanding and responding to the world.
Misunderstandings Often Go Both Ways
People often describe autistic individuals as lacking social skills or empathy, placing responsibility for communication difficulties entirely on them. However, autism researcher Dr. Damian Milton proposed the concept of the Double Empathy Problem, which suggests that communication difficulties arise because people with different experiences, perspectives, and ways of processing information may struggle to understand one another.
The situation can be compared to two people speaking different languages. Both may genuinely want to communicate, yet misunderstandings still occur.
Research led by Catherine Crompton illustrates this point. In a “telephone game” study, groups composed entirely of autistic participants and groups composed entirely of non-autistic participants performed similarly in transmitting information. Mixed groups, however, lost more information and reported lower levels of rapport. The findings suggest that communication challenges may stem less from deficits in one group and more from differences in communication styles and expectations.
Consider a common example. An adult says to a young person, “Could you be more proactive?” But what does “proactive” actually mean? How many times should the young person speak? How much participation is expected? Without clear expectations, young people are left guessing. If uncertainty causes them to remain quiet, their silence may then be interpreted as a lack of motivation.
True acceptance therefore requires more than simply saying, “You are fine as you are.” It involves designing environments and opportunities that enable different people to participate, remain engaged, and try again after setbacks. In practical terms, acceptance means creating opportunities and stages where everyone can enter and belong.
The Issue Is Not a Lack of Motivation, but a Lack of Access
Many teachers and social workers tell us about neurodivergent students who hesitate during group activities or choose to stand quietly at the side.
For these students, however, “form your own groups” may be the most difficult instruction of all. Who should they approach? How should they start the conversation? What if they are rejected? Tasks that seem straightforward to others may involve significant anxiety and uncertainty.
In some activities, facilitators assigned such students responsibilities like timekeeping or photography. Suddenly, they had a clear role and a meaningful reason to participate. Other students began approaching them for help. Gradually, conversations emerged, relationships developed, and joining a group no longer felt impossible.
The young people themselves did not fundamentally change. What changed was the point of entry.
For some young people, a supportive point of entry may include:
- Time to observe before participating;
- Opportunities to contribute through technical or hands-on tasks rather than extensive speaking;
- Clear explanations of what happens first, next, and later;
- Defined roles and responsibilities;
- Quiet spaces where they can take a break when needed.
These practices reflect the principle of multiple pathways: the same destination can be reached through different routes. Some people learn best by listening. Others rely on visual information. Some need time to reflect before acting, while others learn through experimentation.
When an environment recognizes only one acceptable way of participating, a young person may appear unwilling to engage. In reality, the environment may simply be failing to accommodate how that person participates best.
The question we should ask is therefore not, “Why won’t young people engage?” but rather, “Have we created an entrance where different young people feel safe enough to enter?”
Some young people possess remarkable expertise in particular areas while struggling with organization, time management, or transitions between tasks.
Take Chun (pseudonym), one of our students. He can name and describe well over a hundred Pokémon characters, yet often forgets to bring the correct books to school, submit assignments on time, or memorize classroom material.
This illustrates what psychologists often call a spiky profile. Human abilities are not distributed evenly. Like a mountain range, each person has peaks and valleys. Strengths and challenges frequently coexist.
For young people with ADHD, difficulties in executive functioning may affect areas such as impulse control, working memory, planning, and behavioral regulation. When we replace “You are lazy” with “This is an area where you need support,” we reduce shame and become more able to develop practical solutions.
Focusing only on strengths can lead us to overestimate a young person’s capacity. Focusing only on weaknesses can cause us to overlook their potential. If strengths are taken for granted and struggles are met with criticism, young people may learn not resilience but shame.
This dynamic is especially visible among Twice-Exceptional (2E) young people. These individuals possess significant strengths or talents while simultaneously facing learning, developmental, or social challenges. Because society tends to categorize young people as either “gifted” or “struggling,” 2E individuals can fall between the cracks. Their strengths may lead others to assume they need no support, while their challenges may overshadow their abilities.
What they need is a flexible stage that allows them to contribute their strengths while receiving support where it is needed.
Not Fixing Young People, but Making the Road Easier to Walk
Neurodivergence is not an illness that needs to be cured. Supporting neurodivergent young people does not mean making everyone behave in the same way. Young people still need to learn social, life, and collaborative skills, but the pathway can be adapted to fit different needs.
Helpful approaches include:
- Providing clear expectations and advance notice of activities;
- Creating spaces for sensory regulation and rest;
- Breaking large tasks into smaller steps;
- Allowing different forms of expression;
- Permitting temporary withdrawal and later re-engagement.
Turning “read the room” into “clear instructions” and replacing “guess the rules” with “understandable expectations” is not lowering standards. It is making participation more reasonable and equitable.
Equity does not mean everyone follows the same path. It means everyone has a path. Just as accessible ramps enable more people to use the same public space, multiple pathways allow more young people to participate in the same community.
This philosophy is at the heart of YGN’s work: creating alternative paths for divergent youth so that every young person can discover a route that works for them.
Turning Opportunities from Gatekeepers into Bridges
Acceptance does not mean abandoning expectations. Rather, it means allowing young people to learn, experiment, and grow without first being rejected, shamed, or excluded.
A stage can function as a filter, retaining only those who are quick-thinking, highly verbal, and comfortable in conventional environments. Alternatively, it can function as a bridge, helping more people discover ways to participate.
We can ask ourselves:
- Can participation barriers be lowered?
- Can young people express themselves through projects and creations, not only through speaking?
- Can we allow practice and revision instead of expecting immediate perfection?
- Can we offer alternatives and places to rest?
Young people may not immediately excel, but they are far more likely to remain engaged. As long as they stay in the room, the story can continue.
Three Stages, One Common Thread
This issue features three stories from the Youth Global Network (YGN). Although each takes place in a different setting, all ask the same question:
What becomes possible when people are given a stage that feels safe enough to step onto?
Pizza Surprise Box
Secondary school students transformed a local resident’s wish for “more meat on a pizza” into a creative dumbbell-shaped pizza design. Given space to ask questions, experiment, and create, young people were able to transform listening into connection.
Six Hands, One Heart
Six individuals with different backgrounds, abilities, and ways of expressing themselves collaborated to create a shared piece of work. Their story demonstrates that true collaboration is not about making everyone the same, but about allowing different strengths to complement one another.
Hin’s Internship Journey
A student studying at a leading UK university nevertheless carried a persistent belief that he was “not good enough.” When new opportunities became available, he began with observation and low-risk participation before gradually rebuilding confidence and changing the way he saw himself.
Together, these stories remind us that when young people are respected and provided with meaningful ways to participate, they become more willing to contribute, connect, and grow.
Conclusion: More Stages, More Hope
The Double Empathy Problem reminds us that misunderstandings often work both ways. The concepts of spiky profiles and twice-exceptionality remind us that people can possess remarkable strengths while also facing genuine challenges.
We do not need to identify who is neurodivergent before we learn to respect and support one another. Clear expectations, predictable structures, opportunities to observe before joining in, and roles that draw on individual strengths benefit not only neurodivergent young people, but everyone.
A stage does not have to be a platform that changes the world. It can be a thoughtful conversation, a slower pace, a quiet corner where someone can observe before participating, or a task with clear instructions on how to begin.
Acceptance and appreciation should not be rewards offered only after young people succeed. They are the foundation that makes success possible. When opportunities are placed before young people, they can step closer. When they step closer, they can be seen, understood, accepted, and appreciated.
And that is where hope, confidence, and engagement begin.