Co-President – Dr. Jonathan Choi
Building a Home for Young People
Recently, renowned Hong Kong journalist and author Tam Wai-yin published a book about her family of origin. She describes family as a “giant beast” and courageously and honestly confronts the wounds and burdens left by her upbringing. Having served and counselled young people on the front lines for nearly three decades, I deeply resonate with the description of Chinese families sometimes resembling a “giant beast.” Over time, I have come to realize that there are no truly “problematic” young people—only young people living in troubled families and within educational systems, cultures, and social environments that are themselves troubled.
At Youth Global Network (YGN), we have always believed that youth ministry is not simply about organizing activities or providing individual counselling. More importantly, it is about addressing the root causes of problems—by building a “home” for young people.
We believe that a home is a place where people are loved and accepted, seen and affirmed, given freedom and choice, made to feel safe and protected, and able to experience joy and growth. At home, we can be vulnerable, accept one another’s imperfections, and discover our place and identity. At the same time, we learn to give, take responsibility, and love one another, rather than merely receiving love and care from others.
Joy, Restoration, and Growth at the Father-Son Basketball Camp
Each year, our basketball ministry organizes a meaningful Father-Son Basketball Camp. During this two-day, one-night camp, around ten pairs of fathers and sons live alongside a coaching team and participate in physical training, parent-child activities, basketball training, team competitions, Men’s Talk, and father-son basketball games.
In a society characterized by information overload, a fast-paced lifestyle, and constant academic and examination pressures, it is a rare luxury and a precious gift for fathers and sons to set aside work, homework, mobile phones, and everyday busyness, and simply spend focused time together for two days and one night.
For boys entering adolescence, this is much more than a basketball training camp—it is a unique space for growth. They have opportunities to live alongside their fathers, coaches, and other boys, learning responsibility, respect, courage, perseverance, and how to become mature, responsible men who are also capable of expressing their emotions through discipline, challenges, teamwork, play, and meaningful conversations.
Basic Core Needs
“Basic Core Needs” are the essential physical, emotional, and spiritual needs necessary for healthy development. While physical needs such as air, food, and water sustain life, emotional and spiritual needs—such as love, acceptance, security, meaning, freedom, and joy—nourish the inner life. When these needs remain unmet, young people may continue to function outwardly, yet gradually lose their sense of vitality, hope, and self-worth, leading to emotional and mental health challenges over time.
Five Core Needs for Youth Development
Drawing from various psychological theories and many years of experience in youth work, I believe that young people have five essential core needs in their development:
1. Love and Acceptance
Helping young people understand that even though they are imperfect, they are still worthy of love and acceptance.
2. Affirmation and a Sense of Competence
Helping them recognize their efforts, strengths, and potential, and develop the belief that “I am capable.”
3. Safety and Protection
Providing an environment where they can express emotions safely, make mistakes, fail, and try again.
4. Purpose and Meaning
Helping them understand that life is not merely about pursuing grades and success, but also about developing their gifts, serving others, and discovering their direction in life.
5. Joy and Freedom
Giving them space to rest, play, explore, create, and make appropriate choices, allowing them to maintain vitality and enthusiasm for life.
When these five core needs remain unmet for a prolonged period, young people may gradually lose their sense of security, self-worth, motivation to learn, and energy for living. They may experience emotional and mental health struggles and, in severe cases, face risks of self-harm and suicide.
Joy and Freedom: Perhaps the Most Neglected Developmental Need
Among these five core needs, joy and freedom may be the most lacking among Hong Kong’s young people today.
Whenever I conduct activities, seminars, or counseling sessions in schools, I often ask students:
“What do you enjoy most at school?”
Regardless of whether they are younger or older students, boys or girls, struggling learners or high achievers, the overwhelming majority give the same initial answer:
“When school is over!”
The next most common answers are lunchtime, recess, Physical Education classes, or Visual Arts lessons.
This seemingly simple response deserves serious reflection. If most students look forward primarily to leaving school, it may indicate that the current educational environment places excessive emphasis on grades, competition, and outcomes while failing to adequately address young people’s emotional, relational, and developmental needs.
When learning becomes nothing more than homework, examinations, rankings, and anxiety about the future, young people can gradually lose their curiosity about knowledge, their enjoyment of life, and their intrinsic motivation to learn.
Creating Alternative Learning and Growth Environments
For this reason, YGN’s ministry is not simply about offering activities. We intentionally seek to address the five core needs of young people by creating alternative environments for learning and growth.
When designing our programs and activities, we ask:
- Can young people experience love and acceptance here?
- Can they discover their abilities and value?
- Is the environment safe enough for them to make mistakes and continue trying?
- Can they find direction and meaning in life?
- Do they have space to laugh, play, explore, and grow freely?
One of the most rewarding aspects of the Father-Son Basketball Camp is our ability to create a space filled with joy and freedom.
Fathers and sons can run, sweat, compete, fail, and laugh together. By stepping away from work, school assignments, and digital screens, they are able to rediscover one another and enjoy each other’s company again.
On the basketball court, they are not simply father and son. They become teammates, fellow travelers, and supporters in one another’s lives.
Men’s Talk: From Acknowledging Hurt to Reconciliation
The highlight of the Father-Son Basketball Camp is Men’s Talk.
During this session, fathers temporarily separate from their sons and set aside time for sincere and meaningful conversations. They openly share the joys and struggles of being husbands and fathers, including work stress, family responsibilities, challenges in marriage, and the difficulties and frustrations they encounter while raising their sons.
As the conversations deepen, many fathers acknowledge that they are not perfect. They may have unintentionally hurt their sons through emotional outbursts, excessive strictness, work commitments, lack of quality time, or difficulty expressing love.
Traditional masculine culture often encourages men to appear strong and conceal their emotions, but rarely teaches fathers how to express vulnerability, apology, and love. Yet true maturity is not about never making mistakes; it is about having the courage to face our limitations, acknowledge the hurt we have caused, and take the initiative to repair relationships.
During Men’s Talk, many fathers shed tears. It becomes evident that many men also feel lonely and exhausted. Having the opportunity to listen to, understand, and support one another is a profoundly valuable experience.
At the end of the session, each father records a short video message for his son, sharing words that may be difficult to say face-to-face. They express appreciation, affirmation, and love, offer sincere apologies for past hurts, and ask for forgiveness.
Some fathers say:
“Dad loves you very much.”
“I’m sorry that there were times when I did not listen to you well.”
“I know that I was too harsh on you at times.”
“No matter what grades you get or how you perform, you will always be my beloved son.” “I hope you can forgive me, and that we can start again.”
A Hug That Reconnects Hearts
During the final session of the camp, these precious videos are shown to the sons.
After the videos are played, each father walks over and gives his son a heartfelt embrace. Many fathers and sons who are not accustomed to expressing affection find themselves shedding tears.
These are not tears of weakness. They are tears filled with love, forgiveness, and acceptance. The atmosphere is deeply moving and heartwarming.
We firmly believe that these moments become lifelong memories for many fathers and sons because their deepest core needs are genuinely met in those precious moments.
Conclusion: Building a “Home” Where Life Can Flourish Again
Through various forms of youth work, YGN hopes to build a “home” for young people—a place where they are seen, accepted, and affirmed within safe relationships, and where they can rediscover their abilities, purpose, joy, and freedom.
“a few moments”: Rediscovering Life and Community Connection
After six months of preparation, “a few moments” Community Cultural Space was officially launched as a place that brings together specialty coffee, vinyl music, artisan sourdough bread, and the stories and culture of the local community.
We hope that young people and community members can slow down amidst their busy lives, reconnect with their senses, emotions, and memories, and build deeper connections between people, culture, and community through experiences of beauty, goodness, and truth.
Cook to Care：Helping Overlooked Youth Feel Seen Again
Cook to Care supports boys living in residential care homes through cooking, community exploration, outdoor activities, and mentoring relationships, helping them develop psychosocial competencies.
A birthday cake, a sincere word of appreciation, or even the experience of playing freely in a safe environment can help them lower their defenses and feel seen, accepted, and affirmed. Through these experiences, they gradually rediscover their lost childhood wonder, confidence, and hope.
From the Father-Son Basketball Camp, to the One Space Community Cultural Hub, to Cook to Care, the activities may differ in form, but they are all built upon the same conviction:
Young people need more than training and expectations. They need love and acceptance, affirmation and competence, safety and protection, purpose and meaning, and joy and freedom.
A father’s sincere apology and loving embrace; a mentor’s attentive listening and heartfelt encouragement; a cup of coffee, a piece of music, and a place to slow down within a community—any of these can become a significant turning point in a young person’s life.
This is the kind of “home” that YGN seeks to build: not merely a physical space, but a culture of relationships where every young person is seen and accepted, and where each one is empowered with the courage and capacity to explore and pursue their own unique life journey.